Yesterday was my 29th birthday and as I look forward to this new year, it's sort of like standing on the edge of something and not really knowing what I'm stepping out onto. Just before Christmas vacation I made the final decision to leave New Orleans. It has, quite possibly, been the hardest decision I've ever had to make. But, instead of reinventing the wheel while telling this story, I am going to include the text of my upcoming newsletter instead.



This past year has been filled with ups and downs both personally and in ministry. Our one senior at UILA, and my best student, reached graduation. We had 11 dedicated interns handling our summer programs with great maturity, we took several high school students to Challenge to grow deeper in their faith, several students accepted Christ at KAA, and the list goes on.

But personally, storm clouds have been brewing. As I came back from my retreat/vacation in August, God really began to bring some things to my attention. I was very unsettled and had a growing sense that things were about to change, but that in itself was unsettling because I have always said that New Orleans was home.

Oddly, I think this quote from an unlikely source sums it all up. “My dream was to win a championship with San Diego and play my whole career with that one team. That didn’t happen - it wasn’t the plan. And it took a devastating injury to tear me away from that city. Be flexible enough to know when you’re being led in another direction, and then follow that new vision with all your heart. You are being led there for a reason. Coincidence is usually God working anonymously.” - Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints quarterback.

So for me, my dream was to live in New Orleans and make a difference here. To make a life here. But lately, I’ve come to realize that God has other plans.

It took me several weeks to even consider that all of the unrest may be a call to move on and it took even longer for me to say the words out loud. Then, after a discussion with my pastor and boss, it took me another month or so to really understand and admit that it was time to leave New Orleans.

It’s so hard to put it all into words. God has been so good, and I have learned so much. I have learned of His faithfulness and provision. I have learned about a new culture. I have learned what it takes to maintain long-distance friendships. I have learned how to better lead others. I have learned how to trust God more. I have learned that people are people and dealing with people is messy, but service is God’s way of teaching us but also rewarding us through what we learn.

As I have prayed and thought about this decision and as a few close to me have prayed and talked through this with me, I realize more than ever how grateful I am for each and every one of you. Your prayers and your amazing financial partnership these past three years have been a blessing I cannot even begin to describe. You have taught me the beauty of generosity, and I am humbled by your desire to see God glorified.

I have to admit, when all of this began to happen, I was so fearful of being a disappointment, and I often felt guilty for even thinking about leaving. Perhaps it’s my generally people-pleasing personality or my desire to see everything I start finished to completion, but it’s been hard to work through those feelings. I am grateful for those God has brought alongside me to show me that when He is leading, He will not only take care of my future, but the future of the ministry.

It’s hard to even begin to put the past three years into words. As I have looked back through so many of the photos I’ve taken memory upon memory continues to surface. Memories of living in a camper with no plumbing and having to run into the Yellow House in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Memories of so many teams, and individuals, that I have met that have taught me everything from how to use a nailgun to how to be a great friend. Memories of pushing Kentrell to be the best he could be, meanwhile testing both his patience and mine.

Memories of rocking countless babies to sleep and watching so many kids grow into their little personalities. Memories of walking students through their homework, sometimes learning as much as I may have been teaching. Memories of staff that have come and gone. Memories of Monday nights listening to Pastor John talk to teams, so many times that I used to be able to give the same talk in my sleep. Memories of a hurricane evacuation that left plenty of time to think about what it means to prepare for the worst. And the list goes on and on.

To sum it all up is perhaps impossible, but God is good, and faithful and worthy and these past three years have been such a testament to that.

My time here has been such an amazing blessing. And as I said in the above letter, to put it all into words seems impossible. But, during the course of the next year it is my plan to put together a book of photos and stories, many of which can be found on this blog, of God's faithfulness, of things I've learned, people I've met and times I'll never forget.

It is also my plan to continue to blog about the upcoming changes. My last day at Urban Impact will be February 15. My dad and brother will fly here February 23 and we'll pack up and leave on the 26th. I know this next year will be filled with change and new adventures. I will be moving back to Iowa until I figure out what's next. I know God will reveal that all in his time.

I'll admit I haven't been great about keeping my blog updated lately. :( It's been a busy past month as I was fully inundated with year end mailing responsibilities. We sent out 13,212 year end letters. That means I printed 13,212 envelopes and 39,636 sheets of paper (it was a 3-page letter). It takes 500 sheets 11 minutes to print if there are no interruptions, so that comes out to about 15 hours of printing. In addition to that, the envelope printer was having issues, so while those printed I had to have my hand on the envelopes at all times to keep it from stopping. It wasn't until the last 500 that I finally figured out the problem.

But, this year, for the first time, we had all our letters and envelopes printed and folded before we started stuffing and I'm proud to say that it took us only 14 hours to complete the stuffing this year! In the past we've been rather disorganized and it has taken up to 2 weeks. But this year we had all the staff put in two full days instead of a few hours every day and it worked like a charm.

One great thing about this year is that I didn't have to take the mail to the post office! If you have never done bulk mail, you won't really understand how much of a blessing this is. In my experience, it generally means loading everything up (62 mail trays weighing a total of more than 600 lbs) and going to the bulk mail unit. You sign in and then you wait. It could be 5 minutes, it could be 45 minutes. And while you sit there it usually appears that the people working aren't doing much work, and if they are, it is being done very slowly. It certainly is a way God continues to teach me patience. Then when it's your turn you have to unload all of your trays into their carts and help them weigh it and then more waiting as they finish the paperwork. If I've learned anything at all, it's that you want to make these folks your best friend. One friend of mine said she took the people at her post office cookies. I think I might try that.

But, I missed all of that this year because I headed home to Iowa for 12 days during Thanksgiving. I flew out of New Orleans in the evening and was fully expecting to spend the night in Atlanta because that's what happened the last time I flew in that late. However, we arrived in plenty of time for me to go to another concourse to get Starbucks and stretch my legs before boarding an on-time flight.

With all the recent talk of pat downs and body scanners at the airport, I was a little apprehensive. I've been patted down twice and, honestly, it was no big deal. The body scanners that essentially see you naked however, I'm not really sure how I feel about all that. But, God is good and they hadn't yet installed the scanners in the concourse I flew out of so it was just a simple metal detector. It also seems that the more I fly, the more anxious I get about getting on the plane. It's not the thought of flying or small spaces, it seems to be more the worry that I won't have a place to put my carry-on bag. So, I like to make sure I have plenty of time to sit and relax to avoid all that anxiety.


It was really good to be home and not have any responsibilities for a 12 days. It was, however, a little chillier than I had expected. Initially I had flannel sheets, two fleece blankets, a down blanket and a comforter on my bed. I did adjust some as time went on, but I guess I've just gotten used to much warmer weather for a much greater portion of the year.

For the past two years Andrew has come here for Thanksgiving which is always fun, but it was good to have the whole family together again. I know that those years will be fewer and fewer once John graduates and becomes and active duty Marine. So the time was good. We played games and watched movies and just hung out. I was able to spend a day in Des Moines with a great friend and was also able to see two of my past co-workers who have also become great friends.

Perhaps the best part about Thanksgiving vacation was knowing that in just 21 days (now 18) I will be returning for 14 days. It certainly made leaving easier because usually it is at least 6 months between visits.

I'd like to say that I came back to warmer weather, but it's still been chilly. They say it's going to be near 70 this weekend and will then drop to the 30's overnight starting next week. It was good to see my guinea pigs again though. It's always hard to leave them, but I haven't yet figured how to travel with them unless I drive. It's weird, when they aren't around I can swear I still hear them squeaking and those who watch them for me say the same thing.

We should be having a fairly calm few weeks here before Christmas. Hurricane season officially ended November 30 (yay!) and it was an unbelievable blessing not to have to evacuate this year! We have a Princess Tea for the girls in our church tomorrow and our annual Christmas program will be December 12. I'll be sure to be better about getting some of those photos posted as soon as I can!

I downloaded the following song some time ago, but I just came across it again today and I think it really puts into words a lot of what I've been feeling lately. It's been a hard and weary several months where everything feels like it's falling apart. While I don't have the answers, I am reminded so often of God's faithfulness and peace that is freely offered if I would just seek Him.

Rediscover You
By Starfield

I need to just admit
my faith is paper thin
I'm feeling so burned out
On religion

I say an empty prayer
I sing a tired song
I need to just admit that the passion's gone

And I want to get it back

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

I want to learn to pray
The way that David prayed
I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new
I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life like only You can do
Cause I don't want to stay the same

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

Lord, I want to be Yours today
I want to know the passion of the saints
And how they were changed

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move

I want to burn for You
Bring me back to life, Jesus
Help me rediscover You

Last night I had the opportunity to join many others from the community during a candlelight vigil at a local school. Just five blocks from where I live is New Orleans College Prep. It's only four years old and is doing great things to impact the students of this neighborhood. However, in the last seven months there have been 3 murders just outside the school.

The most recent shootings happened right outside the cafeteria just five minutes before the entire elementary school (currently K-3) entered for lunch. Several members of Castle Rock met with the principal of that school Tuesday night to begin to plan for the involvement we can have with the school to support what they are doing educationally.

He said several teachers are concerned when walking to their cars or coming to work. Parents are nervous and so are some of the students. That's all legitimate. So last night, city leaders, one of our congressmen, religious leaders and community members joined students, teachers and staff to take a stand against the violence. It was great to see how many turned out for the event and I pray that this will be a sign to the neighborhood that we are all together in this fight and a reminder that this behavior won't be tolerated here.

It was such a great reminder of how we really do need to all work together across racial, political and socioeconomic lines to support one another. That's true for anywhere, I suppose, and it's unfortunate that it generally takes a tragic event or disaster to bring us together in such a way. I'd encourage you to see how you can get involved in your community now, so that we can prevent these sorts of things for the future.

To read the full story, click the link below:

http://www.wdsu.com/news/24834842/detail.html

As promised, I've finally gotten around to posting some photos from my recent trip to the east coast. It was such a great trip and a wonderful time to relax and catch up with some friends. I loved having time close to the beach, and even one day on the beach. The weather was perfect for the entire trip and especially for our weekend in New York.

The anticipation for our trip to New York made it hard to sleep Friday night and as I began to see signs in north Jersey it was everything I could do to keep from hanging my head out the window to catch a glimpse. The first sight of the skyline through the trees was like a dream.

Kathy and I stayed at a hotel in Weehawken on the western bank of the Hudson River and took the ferry into the city each day. The ferry ride the first day was a little surreal. I mean, I've always loved New York, or so I thought, but without having been there I really didn't know what to expect or if it would live up to the extremely high expectations that I'd set. I'll tell you this, it didn't disappoint.

We got off the ferry at 39th Street (which essentially leads into the Theater District and Times Square.) We had walked a bit and I was just about to say something about how it would be cool to see the New York Times building and all of a sudden, there it was. Right next to it was a Dean & Deluca, which may be one of my new favorite coffee spots (save for the fact that they don't have them here!)

We did a quick run through Times Square, which is sort of a given for a NYC trip, but we didn't linger as it's a little much for me. We headed down 7th Avenue and into Central Park, which, by the way, is so much larger than I ever thought. It was definitely a busy place, but I guess that makes sense because it's one of the only places to get a little nature in the big city.

We managed to see a good portion of the south end of the park before heading back south down Fifth Avenue. We saw the Plaza Hotel (where, when I looked, the best price for a room on a random Wednesday in October was at least $1,000!) and there was an extravagant wedding being photographed outside. We passed all the high end stores like Tiffany, DeBeers, Saks, Lord and Taylor, Fendi, etc but didn't make any stops. We figured at the very least we weren't dressed for most of those stores let alone did we have the money!

We proceeded on toward St. Patrick's and saw Grand Central Station where another wedding was being held before we headed back toward the ferry. When I mapped it out after the fact we put in at least seven miles that day and by the end of it I had totally realized that I had worn the wrong shoes. My feet ached and I had blisters in places I didn't know I could have blisters, but it was all worth it!

That evening we had wonderful seafood at the Chart House on the Hudson River and very much enjoyed our nice comfy beds and several hours off of our feet. The second morning we headed back across the river, checked to see if there were any great deals on any Broadway shows (no such luck) and then proceeded back toward Fifth Avenue south toward the Empire State Building. We went inside but decided that it was very crowded and that we'd save a trip to the top for another trip.

We ran into a Dominican parade which was kind of fun and made our way to the Flatiron building and then on to Washington Square. I remember that largely for the shots from I Am Legend. I would have loved to see the NYU campus but we pressed on to get as much distance out of my feet as we could. :) We went through Chelsea, Soho and Greenwich Village and finally ended up at the site of the World Trade Center. It seemed to be business as usual for most folks, but I guess if you are around that every day it sort of blends into the background. It was a little eerie though.

Then we headed toward the South Street Seaport for dinner and finally got to see the Brooklyn Bridge. It was a beautiful sight!

After dinner we made our way down Wall Street as the final activity for the day before calling a cab to get us back to the ferry. It was another 7 mile + day but it was worth the limping and Kathy was a great cheerleader to get me to see as many things as possible even when I didn't know if I could take another step!

Like I've said and will continue to say, this was an amazing trip. It was everything I could have imagined and more. It met and exceeded my expectations. It was a time to relax, explore new things, break away from the routine, sort some things out and be refreshed. I had so much fun with my friend Kathy and God couldn't have provided a better trip or a better hostess!

I arrived in Baltimore yesterday afternoon after almost missing my connection in Atlanta. It was a fairly smooth process to get my rental car, get cash for tolls and get on the interstate. I made a brief Panera stop for a late lunch bagel and coffee in Essex, MD and was back on the road. What a blessing to be driving a brand new car for 8 whole days! As I was driving I remembered just how much I love to travel. There is just something about seeing new things and new places and the independence of figuring where to go that I just can't get enough of.

As I entered the Wilmington, DE area things started to look familiar and coming off the Deleware Memorial Bridge it seemed like just yesterday that I was here last. I made it to Ventnor, NJ (just south of Atlantic City) around 5:30 to Kathy and Joe waiting on the front porch. What a blessing to be able to stay with them! Hands down 2 of the most hospitable people I have ever met. From a variety of coffee options to a pre-packed beach bag complete with ice cream money, Kathy has thought of it all and I am so BLESSED!

The initial reason for this trip was a two day planning retreat for the upcoming year. I had initially thought I would have to stick around New Orleans for this time, but the generosity of the Fisher's and some extra money from a wedding I am photographing this summer have made this trip a reality without being stressed about money. I've been here less than 24 hours and I already feel so much more relaxed. We took a walk along the beach last night and it was amazing. There is a beautiful breeze, AC isn't required and being so close to the ocean seems to make all things simpler. I look forward to sharing photos and more activities as I can.

We are taking a weekend trip to NYC (my first time!) and I get to visit a college friend in DC early next week. Praise God for good friends and time to get away and relax!

Well, the it appears the inevitable has finally begun to happen. Last week I was taking a friend to work and my air conditioning wasn't working right. On top of that, the coolant temp kept rising as I was driving. I finally rolled down the windows and got home as fast as I could.

I added a little more antifreeze, although the level appeared normal. The next step was checking the freon. I picked up a gauge and bottle of it at Wal-Mart and my dad talked me through the process on the phone. Basically, my air conditioning works when I am driving (faster=cooler) and stops after about 30 seconds of idling.

The freon levels came up high, but that doesn't seem to make sense because no one has touched anything related to that part of the car since I moved down here. For anyone who knows anything about this subject, we also check all the related fuses and they all seem fine. I am currently trying to avoid a $70 trip to Firestone for an AC check because my dad and I believe it may well be the compressor going bad.

So, the time has come to review my budget, get things in order and determine what to do about finding a new vehicle. The biggest problem with finding a "new" car is that because of my zip code, insurance is quite expensive. So the newer the car or the larger the car (both of which seem necessary) the more expensive the insurance.

So the major prayer requests would be that my car lasts until I am able to find/afford a "new" one and that I would be able to find something affordable.

This past week it was so good to have my mom here for a visit. Somehow, this is the only photo we have from the whole week. And oddly enough, it was taken by an 11-year-old. I'd say she could put me out of a job!

We spent the majority of the week unloading every nook and cranny in my apartment and then tossing and donating. We took four bags of clothes to Goodwill and threw away 2-3 bags of unnecessary clutter and useless items. It certainly feels better to come home every night and not have to think about needing to organize and clean. So far I have been good about not leaving things out or throwing clothes on my bedroom floor. My plan is to maintain these good habits!

We probably walked 6 miles through Wal-Mart and Target during the week. We enjoyed several trips to Starbucks, which is always more fun together, and saved a little time for shopping. My mom fell in love with my "girls" and I knew she was hooked when her first morning she texted and asked if she could give them a grape because they freaked out when she opened the refrigerator door.

We hung curtains in my bedroom which has drastically cut down the temperature in the room and made it much easier to sleep at night. But we also took some time to have a little fun and made a tutu which I'll use for baby/toddler photos.

It was hard to take her to the airport on Tuesday and watch her walk through security. While I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, it's hard having her be so far away. Thanks for a great week, lots of laughs and lots of productivity. I love you Mom!

June 27 through July 3 I was in Columbus, OH for Challenge, the EFCA national youth conference. We took 7 students and 6 adults (including myself.) We left New Orleans around 4:30 a.m. on the 27th and didn't arrive in Columbus until around 11 p.m. (Eastern time) It was a very long day, but around dinner time we were able to stop in Nashville and I got to spend an hour with some good friends, Brandon and Emily. It was so good to be able to see them and to see Emily especially before they welcome a baby in August. She's been down here a couple times and even evacuated with us for Hurricane Gustav.

That first night we got settled in our hotel and it was close to 1 a.m. before we finally went to bed. I knew at that point that I wouldn't be sleeping much during the week. Two of the women slept in the double beds and the other two of us slept on air mattresses on the floor. That first morning, Kiera and I both woke up on the floor as our mattresses had holes in them. We tried again the second night with different mattresses and Kiera's worked but mine did not. Need-less-to-say, I had a half inflated mattress for the whole week so it was good to be home in my own bed.

This year Challenge was different for our students because they helped get all of the ministry groups organized each day. That meant earlier mornings and fuller days for them with less downtime than other groups. They all handled it very well and even when they were tired they maintained a good attitude about things.

One of the ministries that we were a part of was running Challenge Circle with a local Boys and Girls Club. There were so many kids and they loved the games and the cheers. Our students, even the ones who had never been a part of Challenge Circle, did a great job keeping the kids excited and motivated. The weather couldn't have been better and was in the mid 70s all week. It was a great break from the summer New Orleans humidity.

The speakers this year were talking through the Beatitudes (Matthew 5) and took one verse for each session. Personally, it was so refreshing to be able to sit and listen and spend time in worship for several days in a row. In some ways it was like being back in high school but one evening after a particularly powerful message, I spent time with one of our students and it hit me that seemingly all of a sudden, I was an adult. Now, I've known for quite some time that I am, in fact, an adult. But it was in that moment of realizing that I was not just here with these students, but responsible for them and their spiritual, emotional and physical well-being that it truly hit me.

It was a great week. Each morning I walked a few blocks to Starbucks and that was a time to just get away and enjoy the beautiful weather and recharge for the events of the day. Then we had a session in the morning before I headed to our booth were we handed out beach balls with our logo and talked to kids and youth pastors about our missions opportunities. Afternoons were for additional breakout sessions or ministry opportunities and evenings were another large group session.

The final night our group was given the opportunity to make the announcement that Challenge 2012 will be held in New Orleans! We are so excited to be the host for this great event and to see what a difference 5,000 students can make in this city. It was also a treat to have 3D (in part) perform in front of the whole group. I am excited to see if there is a chance for them to have a greater role in Challenge 2012.

Our trip home was much quicker than our trip up and it was good to be home and sleep for a solid 8 hours in my own bed. I got to know several of the students better and I feel like it was just such a great week.

One thing that I had worried a little bit about was the fact the third anniversary of my grandma's death was June 30. For the past 3 years its always been a hard day and being around so many people (and not being a public "crier") I just didn't know how it would go. But God is good and there was a great time of worship what morning and I was able to spend some time by myself that afternoon remembering, journaling and talking to my mom. I still miss her terribly but I know that she'd be proud of me and supportive of what I'm doing. I wish more than anything that I could tell her stories of all I have gotten to do and experience these past almost three years in New Orleans, but I believe I'll see her again one day and we'll have an eternity to talk. I love you Grandma.

A group of 7 students, 5 leaders and myself returned home last night from spending a week in Columbus, Ohio at Challenge, the national youth conference for the EFCA. It was an amazing week with little sleep, making lots of connections with folks and some amazing worship and teaching. I'll be posting a full blog tomorrow when I've had a chance to get a little more caught up on sleep. If we are friends on Facebook, check out the video of 3D performing the final night! If we're not, I'll be attempting to post the video here as well.