"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." - Isaiah 43:2-3

I think it's time for a little honesty. The past six months have been the most change-filled months of my entire life and it is all starting to catch up to me. I have been through a great deal of loss and have silently dealt with a lot of hurt that seems to be no longer able to be contained within.

For those who don't know, this summer I lost my grandma. Words can still not express the depth of that loss. There are no tears bitter enough some days to portray the effect that loss has had on my heart and my life. I long to tell her of all that I am doing and experiencing here in New Orleans. I want to show her my photographs and tell her the stories of all the good and crazy and wonderful things that have been happening the past two months.

In addition I have been realizing lately through much prayer and time with God that there have been other losses, some of which are obvious and some not so much, that have to be grieved and dealt with in order to move forward and start down the path of restoration and healing. When I left the newspaper in Waukee I never knew how hard that would be or how much I would miss those I worked with and what I was doing. When I left Home Depot I had only been there seven months but I loved it and it was another loss. I ended a relationship that had been an important part of my life for many months. I left the state I'd always known, friends, family, church, security and comfort. I changed jobs, changed financial situations, changed church homes, changed friends and changed living arrangements.

I knew the loss of my grandma would affect a lot of things, but all of the change and loss combined and my natural tendency to deal with things internally has built up and has begun to spill over. I praise God because this has turned into some great time with him where growth has happened and has allowed me to begin to talk about it some with others. However after a great time with the Lord Thursday night when I felt like some breakthroughs were made I spent the entire night awake because the dog that lives next door barked all night. Something which has never happened before. Last night was the same and I feel like the spiritual warfare has greatly increased as my time with God has become sweeter.

I believe that like Shadrach. Meshach and Abednego he has allowed me to walk through the fire and not be consumed by it this time and has chosen to use this fire as a painful, but beautiful refining process that will bring me closer to him.

I covet your prayers for the continued grieving process and the healing that needs to take place and for continued intentional and fruitful times with the Lord. Please pray against the warfare that has increased and is threatening to wear me down. I claim victory in Christ and look to him for all I need.

"Morning by morning I wake up to find the power and comfort of God's hand in mine. Season by season I watch him amazed, in awe of the mystery of his perfect ways.

All I have need of his hand will provide. He's always been faithful to me.

I can't remember a trial or a pain he did not recycle to bring me gain. I can't remember one single regret in serving God only and trusting his hand.

All I have needed his hand will provide. He's always been faithful to me.

This in my anthem, this is my song, the theme of the stories I've heard for so long. God has been faithful, he will be again. His loving compassion, it knows no end.

He's always been faithful. He's always been faithful. He's always been faithful to me."
-Sara Groves