I have a mouse.

It's not cute. It's not friendly, and it's not going to be living much longer.

After I moved in and began to get everything in my kitchen settled and arranged I noticed on morning that one of the suckers I had left in a box on the counter was now on top of a towel on top of the stove. There were shreds of paper around it and little teeth marks.

So I cleaned vigorously. I sanitized. I disinfected and I hunted. No luck.

The next morning I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of moving silverware. I crept slowly out into the living room and turned on the light to no avail.

The next night I strategically placed a small wooden decoration on my cereal dispenser. Certainly if said mouse was roaming about my kitchen looking for food he was going to knock it over. And he did. And I got mad. That same night he pooped all over the counter. This is not okay.

So last night I went to Wal-Mart and bought rat-sized sticky traps and some of the old standard traps. I put the sticky traps on either side of the stove as I assumed he was coming out from behind it. Then I loaded two of the other traps with peanut butter, removed the drawer from under my stove and placed them there. And I waited....

This morning was kind of like Christmas morning. I awoke with the great anticipation of finding a dead, nasty, but dead, mouse. On the contrary, I walked into the kitchen and it was like going to the Christmas tree as a five-year-old looking for presents left by Santa to have your older sibling hit you in the face and tell you Santa doesn't exist.

Except this "santa" is very real. You see, I left Fruity Pebbles on one side of the sticky trap as I have found that is what he likes. They were all gone and he was not stuck to the trap. This means he did not come from behind the stove. The other side of the stove still had its Fruity Pebbles. He pooped on the light that is sitting on top of my microwave, and oh the outrage! I looked under the stove and found he had snacked on the peanut butter on both traps! Ahhhhhh!

So I calmly placed some Fruity Pebbles on the sticky trap and placed it back on the counter. Then I went to take a shower. I had the idea that perhaps he was hiding behind the fridge, so I moved it. I found a lot of junk and some mouse droppings so I left the fridge out and will clean that up once I get a broom this afternoon.

Then I had a thought about the traps. I put more peanut butter on the other two traps I had not used and as I proceeded to place them with the others under the stove I saw it. Not the mouse "it" but what he had done. While I was in the shower he ate the rest of the peanut butter off one of the traps and nibbled more on the other one!

I was furious. So I made sure the new traps had hard to eat peanut butter and put the used ones in the sink. I also put the sticky traps on the floor by the front of the stove and disinfected the counter so he has nothing to find up there.

I left the house knowing that I will still likely have to sleep at lesat one more night with this menace in my house, but it is only a matter of time before his greedy little self wants just a little more. Then we'll see if that last nibble of peanut butter was really worth it.....